Kids dream of Christmas for most of the year and what is not to love about all the red and green decorations, the presents, mistletoe, baby Jesus and eggnog milkshakes? Halloween has cool costumes, Independence Day has fireworks even Easter has colorful eggs hidden all over the yard. Heck, St. Patrick’s Day has magical Leprechauns and $4 pitchers of Guinness at most bars on the South Side of Chicago! Thanksgiving? A big fat turkey and pies made out of former Halloween decorations. Perhaps Thanksgiving needs a new publicist.
If you really think about the holidays and what each one really means there may be none more simple yet as important than Thanksgiving. With each passing year I am finding myself more and more excited about the holidays. It is a weird realization that I have been slow to admit even to myself. Why, I can remember being a kid and all I could think about was Christmas and being off of school for a couple of weeks and dreaming of all the shiny new toys that would be left under that tree each year. I never gave a damn about Thanksgiving. In fact, I hated having to get dressed up and go to my Uncle’s house and amuse myself in the basement while the adults sat around doing nothing but TALKING!
I’m not sure exactly when it was that I started realizing that these holidays meant more than just long car rides and presents. It may have been that one Christmas Eve in 1990, our first in a new house that my folks would share with both of my older Brothers. It was the first Christmas Eve we had ever really celebrated. Up until then it would usually be just me and my Mom sitting in a dark living room looking at the lights on the Christmas tree waiting for my Dad to come home from work. That year my Mom and future Sister-In-Law prepared all kinds of food, we turned up the Christmas music, sat around the living room cracking jokes while my oldest Brother Frank took it all in on his brand new video recorder.
It’s probably pathetic but I’ve watched that tape every single year since I moved away. I laugh out loud every time I see my Brother Dave’s reaction to a far away coyote howl as he tosses the firewood and runs around in the snow. I’m amazed at how tall my Mother once was and how strong her bones used to be. A roaring fire in the fireplace, the tree wrapped in sparkling tinsel, the bellowing laughter, the near full moon shining through the window, my Dad lying on the floor singing Dean Martin. Sometimes I pause the VCR on myself and just stare at the screen. I don’t remember what exactly I was thinking in these moments but I do remember thinking it was as happy as I had ever been in my life.
It’s unbelievable when you realize that 20 years have gone by since that night. To think of all that has happened since. Dad’s been gone for over 10 years, Mom is confined to a chair most of the time while tanks of oxygen help her breathe, Frank moved to Myrtle Beach and the house sits empty waiting to be sold for only a little more than my parents had bought it for all the way back in 1990. It breaks my heart knowing I’ll never share another night like that with them again. Thank god for the pause button.
Nowadays, every holiday get together means so much to me. Because deep down I realize we only have so many of these times left. People say that holidays are overrated and are just a gimmick to sell cards, candy, turkey’s, toys and other random merchandise. Maybe. But I look at them now as snapshots of our lives. Moments of time to stop with all of the hassles and stresses of life and just be happy we are all still together. To be thankful.
I am as guilty as anyone of constantly singling out anything and everything that is wrong in my life and in the world. But as I sit here, at this moment in this quiet house with my beautiful wife and children sleeping safely upstairs I am truly thankful. Thankful for my family, my friends, thankful for everything that has brought me to this moment right here and thankful for the blessed opportunities that each tomorrow may bring. Because for all the bad things, the pain, the suffering, the loss, the depression and all the heartbreak there is a tomorrow. And tomorrow is the opportunity to take another snapshot, to hit that glorious pause button again. So what if the traffic is bad or the turkey is undercooked. So what if Donald Driver scores 3 touchdowns or there is no cool whip to go on my pumpkin pie. I can’t change the fact that so many people that I would like to be spending Thanksgiving with will not be there or that I have to write an article at night or be up early for work on Friday morning and work another 18 hour day. For a few hours I just want to sit around and talk to whomever is around about whatever is on their mind. I want to eat without worrying about how may calories or carbs I am ingesting. I want to listen to my kids tell me how boring it is to sit around and talk.
These times pass so fast. Seems like every year our Thanksgiving table is changing. You never know who will or won’t be here next year or why. All we can do is enjoy these moments while we’re in them. Before long they will all be gone and all we’ll have is hopefully a tape or DVD to remind us of how great they actually were.